A tale of pee and genetics.

Brace yourselves, I'm going to talk about my pee. Yesterday, I noticed it was somewhat dark, a telltale sign I'm not drinking enough.  Um, stuff like water, anyway.  :-D  So, I set to work drinking tons of water, tea, chemically diet soft drinks (note that I refrained from saying "cokes", lower case, and then specifying the cokes were Dr. Pepper and nasty Sierra Mist), and juice.  Today, my pee was normal again *cues canned applause* and all was well. Only when I went to pee a bit ago, it smelled funny.  Smoky, like BBQ pork.  Um, that can't be good right?  I'm a little freaked out and come in here to Google "my pee smells smoky" and came to the conclusion I either have low DHEA levels or am diabetic.  Google it, you'll see. Terrific, now I'm scared.  I decide to ignore it and distract myself so I go out to check my mail and am bowled over by the smell of smoke and as I step out into the open, ash is falling.  Fires?  I go back inside and check the bathroom...sure enough, the window is cracked open.  Dammit, Jake!  But it's still a good PSA...if your pee smells smoky, like bacon or ham, it's not a good thing. File that away and remember I might have just saved your life and I didn't take pictures. You're welcome.

Pee aside, tonight I was looking through some old pictures and found some cute ones of my grandmothers and one even included my mom.  Want to see?  Thought so.

This is Mamaw.  She didn't really have a crease across her face in real life but she really did have the gold tooth. It's okay, my dad had two.  Someday, I aim to have a grill. *nods*  Anyway, she was Cherokee and Lumbee and could do cool things like heal people up with herbs, beat Papaw up when he got drunk, deliver babies, skirt the law and ride horses.  She was mouthy, feisty and loved wrestling on TV.  She was also fiercely independent but a caregiver and a wonderful friend, mother, mother-in-law and mamaw.  She lived with us for a few years and we alternately wouldn't speak to one another and then turn full of secrets together.  Her hair was down to her butt and it was a daily event, brushing, braiding and then pinning it up.  I used to love to brush her hair while she told me stories about our family and sang to me. I know now she told me things she hadn't told anyone else. She died when she was up in her 90's, when I was in my 20's.  I miss her every day, still.

This is my Mammy, with Mamaw.  

Mammy had the distinction of giving me white blood, lol, since she was half white and looked to be about 300% so.  While Mamaw was an "other side of the tracks" kinda girl, Mammy was a "has a housekeeper" kind of lady, yet the two became fast and forever best friends. They'd travel together with my parents, sharing a room and giggling like teenagers...they were avid practical jokers, my dad generally being the butt of their jokes. Together, they were dangerous and man, did they like being together.  And having adventures.

Like trespassing in someone's cotton fields.  From Mammy, I get my farm wife's bosom, my defiant smirk, my lack of shame and my willingness to wear knee-hi stockings with dresses.  Oh, yes, I have done so.  In later years, she developed an affinity for Hawaiian print muumuus and dye-to-match orthopedic shoes, coupled with funky glasses and lots of jewelry.  Anyone who knows me in real life is laughing right now and nodding.  From her, I got tacky.  She would totally have talked about her pee, too. She died fairly young, in her late sixties, after years of complications from being diabetic.  She lost a leg and half a foot to it in the years before she died and she taught her grandkids all we know about alternative uses for prosthetic limbs and how to fall out of a wheelchair and not even be able to call for help for the laughter.  She taught us all how to make fun of people, too. I learned a lot from her and so miss her, too.

My dad was the amazing photographer behind most family pictures I have.  He took this one of Mamaw, Mammy and my mom, which I have framed and in my living room.  :-)  And who do you think was behind my now-famous (at least in my own mind) little walker icon, after shoving red sunglasses on my face and a red pacifier in me?

Yes, indeed, he's the guilty party.  It's okay, though...I'd wear them both again to have him back.  I miss my family tonight. Think it would be weird if I went to Mom's and let myself in, then crawled in bed with her?  I guess it would be, huh?  I'll just wake her up early and tell her about my pee event.  She'll laugh, apologize for not having her teeth in, and the world will be good again.  :-)

G'night, y'all.